Minutiæ



Prestige8.12

Department of Salutations — Prestige

by

Wel­come to MOGAVO and the Future of Ener­gy! My name is Clyde Bur­bank, Vice Pres­i­dent of Media & Press for MOGAVO, an inno­va­tor in the world of res­i­den­tial and com­mer­cial ener­gy. MOGAVO could not be more pleased to be the new own­ers of Minu­tiæ Pub­lish­ing after pur­chas­ing the com­pa­ny from one of our sis­ter cor­po­ra­tions Ridgecomm to help with our print­ing needs. You see, MOGAVO is at a cross­roads now, and we need all the print­ing resources we can to help spread the word about clean, new­able, and safe ener­gy in our new pub­li­ca­tion MOGAVO Month­ly.

In the upcom­ing first issue of MOGAVO Month­ly, we explore the excit­ing world of Hydraulic Frac­tur­ing. We’ve enlist­ed beloved com­ic artist Chris Ware to illus­trate the sto­ry of Col­orado fam­i­lies who have signed into exclu­sive land rights agree­ments and are now liv­ing the life of lux­u­ry. What once was unused rock shale and untouched aquifers are now big screen tele­vi­sions, wide rimmed auto­mo­bile wheels, and top of the line MOGA­VO-brand air fil­ters. There’s a lot of hul­la­baloo sur­round­ing Hydraulic Frac­tur­ing or “Frack­ing,” and I’d like to use this let­ter right here to clear up any con­fu­sion. Some hors­es just lose their hair, and all water is flam­ma­ble.

Also, we’d like to address what hap­pened across 1600 acres in the Mojave desert in ear­ly Spring when the earth below a solar ther­mal pow­er sta­tion owned by com­peti­tor Nex­tEra Ener­gy Resources sud­den­ly col­lapsed into the ground. There are rumors that MOGAVO had pur­chased the sub­ter­ranean rights to the acreage and bur­rowed it out, accord­ing to rogue ama­teur video footage of sev­er­al hun­dred AVOGOM dump trucks haul­ing dirt away from a near­by quar­ry entrance. MOGAVO has no rela­tion to the Alan Vin­cent Oper­a­tions Gran­ite & Ore Min­ing dump trucks seen in that footage. In fact, how can we be sure that the footage is even real and not an elab­o­rate CGI-prank? The video­g­ra­ph­er, Benoit St. Clark, hasn’t been seen since the footage was leaked to the press. Come for­ward, Mr. St. Clark, and prove you didn’t make this on your Mac com­put­er.

Leav­ing these base­less accu­sa­tions behind, MOGAVO is com­mit­ted to the future of you turn­ing on light switch­es, heat­ing your schools and pro­vid­ing an unbi­ased pub­lish­ing plat­form for Minu­tiæ and its new sis­ter pub­li­ca­tion MOGAVO Month­ly. MOGAVO Ahead! ♦