Guidance and Advice — Strength


Susan Alan-Wenswick is a prolific Life Specialist, working in the metro Miami area. She has written several books, including most recently Young Teachers: What We Can Learn From Our KIDS?!

I recently went through a rough divorce with my husband who I married right out of college, and am starting to rebuild my life. I’m going at my own pace, but my family is constantly on my back for not just moving on. How can I let my family know that I need time to start again?

I recently learned a term, it’s called ‘haters’. Forget the haters. Friends can be haters. Family members can be haters. Heck, sometimes even the voice inside your head can be a hater. Forget about haters. You take the time to rebuild your life, and when your mother comes to you and says “get off the couch and out of those sweats,” you just say “I’m forgetting the hate.” And I applaud you for taking civil legal action to remove yourself from what I can only assume was a marriage that just wasn’t right.

I am a recent college graduate and I am feeling a lot of pressure from my father to move back home and take over the family business. But I really want to try being a chef in New York City. What do I do?

Your father is obviously a hater. And what do we do with haters? We forget them. We forget their hate, remember their love, and keep in mind their respect. That’s how we deal with haters. You go to New York City and follow your dream. Dear Lord, you are so young! You have your whole life ahead of you. So young. You are so. Very. Young.

Ma’am, this is Larry from Burger Land Legal Affairs. I am sorry to say that we hold no responsibility for the unfortunate accident that happened to you after you left our Gladeview Location. Because it was off our property, we suggest you contact the City of Miami. We hope your head has healed.

Hater alert! Hater alert! Haters are going to continue to be haters. No “biggly.” Yes, Larry, my head has healed (aside from a divot). A series of events led to me knocking my head into a lamp post outside a Burger Land after being denied service because the coupons that had been gifted to me by a friend for tarring her driveway were counterfeit and homemade. But, no matter, the whole experience of researching civil lawsuits at the library has made me a stronger, more independent woman.

Hi, Susan, this is Kevin from Judge Patterson’s office. He is throwing out your case against the City of Miami. You have no legal ground to sue the city for slipping on canine fecal matter outside the Gladeview Burger Land, knocking your head into a lamp post and passing out.

It seems like we have another hater here, but it doesn’t matter. This whole experience has made me a stronger woman. I hope every young woman out there spends a night unconscious on a sidewalk on top of a pile of dog poop, because it has made me stronger. That lamp post, that sidewalk, and that pile of dog poop, they are all haters. And haters are a cancer. But there is a cure for cancer: forgetfulness. Forgetting haters. Haters are going to continuously be in a state of hating. Once you forget the haters, then you can blossom into a strong, independent woman.♦