Happenings in the City — Giving


Fans of the star of “The God­fa­ther” and “Las Vegas” come togeth­er for this annu­al con cel­e­brat­ing all things Caan. Check out exhibits fea­tur­ing the actor’s anno­tat­ed “Alien Nation” script, the bed from “Mis­ery,” and the real time machine he used to research his role in the futur­is­tic thriller “Roller­ball.” Cel­e­brate over four decades of movie star magic.
Stlonk Ath­let­ic Audi­to­ri­um. Decem­ber 3–4.

An off-shoot of the above men­tioned JamesCon, ScottCon is a gath­er­ing of men and women whose par­ents con­ceived them dur­ing the famous­ly sex-filled JamesCons of the 1970s and 80s. This includes the actu­al Scott Caan who was con­ceived at JamesCon ’75 when his father hooked up with a mod­el he met on a bus. No auto­graphs or pho­tos though please. Scot­t’s just here to chill.
Stlonk Ath­let­ic Audi­to­ri­um Load­ing Dock. Decem­ber 5. 10am to noon.

For twen­ty years, this con­ven­tion has been strand­ed on the bar­ren waste­land plan­et of Ceti Alpha VI. But now it has a ship — a Fed­er­a­tion ship, at that — and it will stop at noth­ing to wreak vengeance on the oth­er con­ven­tion that strand­ed it there in the first place: Cap­tain James T. Kirkven­tion. What’s that old Klin­gon proverb? Oh yes. “Revenge is a dish best served with a lam­i­nat­ed three-day VIP pass.”
The Neu­tral Zone. Decem­ber 12–16.

What’s going on at the oth­er con­ven­tions around town? Only one way to find out — buy a tick­et for “ReCon,” the only con­ven­tion ded­i­cat­ed to gath­er­ing intel­li­gence on the oth­er gath­er­ings going on at the same time. But is the source reli­able? I said, is this source reli­able?!! The pres­i­dent wants answers. We’re run­ning out of time.
Spearmint Hall. Decem­ber 8–9.

If you only go to the only HVAC con­ven­tion this year, make it Air­Con­di­tion­er­Con. There will be heat­ing, ven­ti­la­tion, and, of course, air con­di­tion­ing. This has been a con­ven­tion thir­ty years in the mak­ing because it has tak­en 30 years for some­one to invent some­thing new in HVAC. Most­ly every­one will be there to see the new ther­mo­stat from Nest because it is gen­uine­ly cool. (Cool? Get it?)
Thurber Col­i­se­um. Decem­ber 18 — 22.
(Ed. note. Air­Con­di­tion­er­Con has been can­celled due to a facil­i­ties mal­func­tion at Thurber Coliseum)

Against air? You’re not alone, and that’s why the Car­bon Diox­ide Con­sor­tium is host­ing a free three day con­ven­tion to pro­mote their anti-oxy­gen agen­da. The pale bald eye­brow-less men of the CDC are excit­ed to hand out free water bot­tles, tote bags, and char­coal tablets to any­one will­ing to lis­ten to them. Also, there will be a screen­ing of “ConAir.”
Beavus Are­na. Novem­ber 31 — Decem­ber 2.

What hap­pens when you set over 300 3rd, 4th and 5th graders loose in a large room with 14,000 col­or­ful con­doms? No one knows, but the Har­vard Soci­o­log­i­cal Soci­ety wants to find out. With a grant from the Nation­al Endow­ment for the Arts, the HSS will be bussing in young peo­ple from across the coun­try and deposit­ing them in a con­ven­tion cen­ter where the only thing will be a giant pile of con­doms in the mid­dle of the room (and plen­ty of video cam­eras to record the excit­ing results!)
Michael Jor­dan­ian Riv­er Con­ven­tion Cen­ter. Decem­ber 23.

Hey, Mom­mies! Look­ing for new ways to make your kids feel guilty about their actions? The Con­dem­na­tion­Con has all your needs with over 200 venders, and 300 talks spread over 9 rooms and 5 days. By the end of this, you’ll be won­der­ing how you ever made your kids feel bad about their ado­les­cent emo­tion­al states before. Spe­cial guest: your dad!
DaLe­ri­ous’ Big Room. Decem­ber 2 — 7.

Spill a drink. Acci­den­tal­ly touch hands. Meet on a sub­way. All of this and more at the Rom­Com­Con. There will be sem­i­nars on Run­ning in High Heels, See­ing an Old Friend in a New Light, Shoul­der Touch­ing, Leap­ing to Your Feet While Cov­er­ing Your Pri­vates with Pil­lows, and Look­ing Out Win­dows. The Rom­Com­Con will end sud­den­ly, with the rush of con­ven­tion orga­niz­ers sep­a­rat­ing peo­ple before they can exchange phone num­bers or even names.
LeAnn Rimes Hall. Novem­ber 28 — 31.

The always demure Sean Con­nery hosts the 12th annu­al Sean­Con­neryCon because he, in his own heav­i­ly accent­ed words, “just wants one per­son to show up.” Tick­ets to Sean­Con­neryCon are free, as are swag and three meals a day includ­ing snacks and desserts. Still, after 12 years, not a sin­gle per­son has come to Sean­Con­neryCon, but Con­nery is opti­mistic that this is the year. He will have a base­ball glove ready if any­one comes in and wants to play, or he’ll just be qui­et while you enjoy the James Bond and Find­ing For­rester exhibits. Will he be the man now, dog? We’ll see.
DaLe­ri­ous’ Big Room. Decem­ber 8 — 18.

A month-long con­ven­tion for sneaky thieves, young child grifters, and even younger baby steal­ers (not kid­nap­pers, but babies who are steal­ers). There are no tick­ets and the entrances will be sealed, but that won’t be a prob­lem if you real­ly want to see the lat­est in steal­ing tech­nol­o­gy. French rap­pers Refrain Rythme will be head­lin­ing the first evening with their brand of anti-estab­lish­ment rap such as “Work Hours Need More Reg­u­la­tion, Please” and “Women Should Have More Time Off After Their Pregnancies.”
Bopp­bopp Are­na. Decem­ber 1 — 31.♦