by Danny Cohen
Welcome to MOGAVO and the Future of Energy! My name is Clyde Burbank, Vice President of Media & Press for MOGAVO, an innovator in the world of residential and commercial energy. MOGAVO could not be more pleased to be the new owners of Minutiæ Publishing after purchasing the company from one of our sister corporations Ridgecomm to help with our printing needs. You see, MOGAVO is at a crossroads now, and we need all the printing resources we can to help spread the word about clean, newable, and safe energy in our new publication MOGAVO Monthly.
In the upcoming first issue of MOGAVO Monthly, we explore the exciting world of Hydraulic Fracturing. We’ve enlisted beloved comic artist Chris Ware to illustrate the story of Colorado families who have signed into exclusive land rights agreements and are now living the life of luxury. What once was unused rock shale and untouched aquifers are now big screen televisions, wide rimmed automobile wheels, and top of the line MOGAVO-brand air filters. There’s a lot of hullabaloo surrounding Hydraulic Fracturing or “Fracking,” and I’d like to use this letter right here to clear up any confusion. Some horses just lose their hair, and all water is flammable.
Also, we’d like to address what happened across 1600 acres in the Mojave desert in early Spring when the earth below a solar thermal power station owned by competitor NextEra Energy Resources suddenly collapsed into the ground. There are rumors that MOGAVO had purchased the subterranean rights to the acreage and burrowed it out, according to rogue amateur video footage of several hundred AVOGOM dump trucks hauling dirt away from a nearby quarry entrance. MOGAVO has no relation to the Alan Vincent Operations Granite & Ore Mining dump trucks seen in that footage. In fact, how can we be sure that the footage is even real and not an elaborate CGI-prank? The videographer, Benoit St. Clark, hasn’t been seen since the footage was leaked to the press. Come forward, Mr. St. Clark, and prove you didn’t make this on your Mac computer.
Leaving these baseless accusations behind, MOGAVO is committed to the future of you turning on light switches, heating your schools and providing an unbiased publishing platform for Minutiæ and its new sister publication MOGAVO Monthly. MOGAVO Ahead! ♦