Minutiæ

Who’s at the door? Is it Lady Lib­er­ty beg­ging for shel­ter from the night stalk­ers in your munic­i­pal park? It’s time for us to start recon­sid­er­ing what is going on this Lib­er­at­ed Unit­ed Fed­er­a­tion we live in. Can we con­sid­er, for a moment please, who is behind the downfall?

Every day we let our gov­erness­es step down to pur­sue a life­time of glad hand­ing and baby pat­ting in Hol­ly­wood, if that place is not just an inven­tion of the Hol­ly­wood Élite. Did I say that? Are they to blame for our cur­rent eco­nom­ic and cul­tur­al tum­bling? And, are we ignor­ing the obvi­ous? IS THIS COUNTRY LOSING ITS VALUES?

Where do the train tracks run afoul? Let’s just con­sid­er how dif­fi­cult it would be to reorder the let­ters in Helsin­ki to read Pak­istan. Is it pos­si­ble? I did­n’t make any claims. I don’t want to weigh down our nation­al pride with bur­dens of proof. No, I am just a con­cerned mem­ber of this Union. I am a Min­ute­man on the fore­front of keep­ing our­selves above water. And who is drain­ing that faucet? Is it the Ron Paul Jihadists? I did­n’t say that. I’m just ask­ing the questions.

What I am say­ing is that the truth is lay­ered like dou­ble-ply. Are there rumors of Ron Paul and his fun­da­men­tal­ists infil­trat­ing YouTube? Could there be rumors as to that fact? In a sim­pler world, we would not need to pose these ques­tions, but we can­not sit at home and won­der if the next Ron Paul is going to be YouTube. Is YouTube a mem­ber of the Under­ground Bour­geois? I did­n’t say that, but let’s sup­pose that fact is truth. The rab­bit hole opens wider. Follow.

When was the last time you saw quinoa being put on your sand­wich­es at Sub­way? How many ter­ror­ist cells exchange mes­sages at farm­ers’ mar­kets? Is that Jihadist serv­ing you an apple? By exten­sion, is the witch in Snow White a high rank­ing mem­ber of Al-Qae­da? If so, are the sev­en dwarfs the Coali­tion and the princess her­self the help­less Afghani peo­ple? Along the same lines, did Walt Dis­ney have access to a crys­tal ball or a set of high­ly tuned con­vex lens­es that allowed him to peer into the future and inject what he saw into the 1937 ani­mat­ed clas­sic? Is Dum­bo Mr. Dis­ney’s warn­ing of the homo­sex­u­al élite’s plans to erad­i­cate the Repub­li­can party?

I did­n’t say that, but it’s your Sec­ond Thought. ♦