Minutiæ

Adver­tise­ment

Burg­er Land, your favorite inter­na­tion­al fast food and theme park brand, has been feed­ing the world ever since Spence Water­duck opened up “Spence’s Spuds & Pat­ties” back in Bue­na Park, CA in 1950. They’re the sin­gle largest pur­chas­er of food world­wide, which has allowed us to main­tain the high­est lev­el of con­trol and qual­i­ty. And now Burg­er Land is tak­ing it a step fur­ther by rein­vent­ing food to bring you the best meal yet.

Start­ing in 2015, all North Amer­i­can Burg­er Land loca­tions, includ­ing the Burg­er­land and Burg­er­land World theme parks, will be serv­ing their deli­cious fries with pota­toes that come out of the ground as fries. That’s right, the pota­toes have been engi­neered to grow as sin­gle quar­ter-inch rec­tan­gles ready for fry­ing. It’s bet­ter for every­one. Burg­er Land will save on ship­ping, by being able to pack more fries into a con­tain­er, which is bet­ter for the envi­ron­ment. And no more friv­o­lous law­suits from their Pota­to Slic­ing Fac­to­ries in Cal­gary. But they’re not stop­ping at fries!

Burg­er Land has been work­ing with farm­ers in the heart­land of Amer­i­ca and shad­ow food researchers in Vit­seb­sk Voblast (that’s in Belarus), to hatch chick­ens that, when ful­ly grown, will be made up of more than 100 chick­en nugget-shaped mus­cles. No more wor­ries of “what’s in these things?” Burg­er Land promis­es that each one of these nuggets are 100% pure white mus­cu­lar meat. Makes you feel bet­ter already, right?

And, final­ly, no trip to one of the thou­sands of Burg­er Land restau­rant and four Burg­er­land Parks is com­plete with­out one of those clas­sic Super Thick Milk­shakes. So the smar­ty pants at Burg­er Land HQ, along with the gen­tle eye-patched folks at Fire Por­tal Lab­o­ra­to­ries in Vit­seb­sk Voblast (that’s in Belarus), have some spe­cial cows where the milk is a milk­shake! The result is the fresh­est, tasti­est and thick­est milk­shake you’ve ever had. And, yeah, the cows are kept in a freez­er, they’re alive, and they love it.

I can’t wait for these amaz­ing changes to be fast tracked by the FDA and avail­able at my local Burg­er Land. In fact, I’m get­ting in line right now. See ya there!

There are over 30,000 Burg­er Land Restau­rants in over 100 coun­tries in addi­tion to the Burg­er­land World theme parks in Orlan­do, Shang­hai, Dubai and Bue­na Park, CA. That means you’re nev­er far from a tasty Burg­er Land Quad-Eighth Pounder or a tube of a Regal Gold­en Fries.